do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
