great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
