So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Its about making memories worth repressing
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
