I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
