Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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