You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Say something about gay babies.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
