And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
is wine microwaveable?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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