Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
