pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I wish life had little blips of pornography
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
