I'm lost and stupid without you.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We are two peas in an std pod
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
