I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
