Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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