i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
