Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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