Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
