Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
