I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
