i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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