you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
