who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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