i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
