I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
