just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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