I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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