that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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