Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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