please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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