No awkward lesbian experiences without me
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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