dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
