let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Let's get the cat blown out
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