Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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