i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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