VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize