you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
