i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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