this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
