so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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