Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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