I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
