The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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