omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Text me some of your sweat
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
