I don't have enough holes for all these australians
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
How does it feel to date your dad?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
