my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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