Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
