Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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