i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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