They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
