While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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