dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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