didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
