3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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